Had a productive weekend, as is often the case whenever I write a To Do List. I invariably end up adding more things to the bottom of it than I actually manage to tick off, so these lists are often more trouble than they’re worth – but I felt better for it this weekend, anyway!

One of my ‘ticks’ was a little research visit to the Brands Hatch Thistle hotel. We went there in between visits to Morrisons (breakfast) and the Asda Stuff Shop (random stuff we actually don’t need, but it gave Son a chance to play the DS game he already has on a DS which was bolted to a display unit, and Husband a chance to stand for upwards of twenty minutes and stare at displays of electrical cable) – so not exactly en-route, in fact it was probably a 25 mile round trip – but it was a nice little visit nevertheless.

We partook of some massively expensive (having just had breakfast in Morrisons cafe, I should point out) but very nice drinks and sat and took in the general atmosphere. As part of my research, I needed to know whether the Gents’ toilets has a condom machine in it (I daresay they do usually but it was important to check) so I sent Husband in there on a research expedition and he came back to tell me that there is a general vending machine in the area outside the lavatories which also has things like toothbrushes in.

Which has made me wonder how many people find themselves unexpectedly staying the night at this place, which is in fact a reasonably smart establishment (selling fish finger sandwiches for the princely sum of £11.50 each).

I mean, such a vending machine would be useful in, say, a motorway travellodge or somewhere you might find yourself if you’d been stuck in a traffic jam for five hours and were too tired to continue with your journey – and therefore hadn’t come armed with a toothbrush and other essentials. But in a posh hotel?

Or maybe the vending machine is there for those poor souls who have come away for a planned conference or a wedding, open up their overnight bag only to find that they have forgotten to bring a toothbrush, or razor, or Pack of Three. And, to be fair, the hotel is pretty much in the middle of nowhere so you couldn’t just nip out to the nearest supermarket and buy your missing items there.

Ideally, I need a nice hotel somewhere en route between London and Rochester. The Brands Hatch Thistle, nice as it is, isn’t strictly speaking on a direct route between the two places; if there was a hotel at Bluewater, that would have been ideal. But there isn’t. Fortunately, though, the Brands Hatch Thistle serves a further purpose because it’s a smart place, and, perhaps more importantly, the restaurant is called Genevieve’s. This coincidence in itself means that the hotel has earned its place in The Revenge of the Tide.